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Ten Feet of Nothing Blood

We come to you today with two major items of good news: there might be an Israel-Hamas ceasefire agreement, and the political prisoner (and friend-of-the-blog) George Santos will be released from persecution in an American hoosegow. Instead of gnashing of teeth in the outer darkness, it might be a time of rejoicing.

But of course, we are joking. The idea that the tantric orgy of murder that has been going on since October 2023 in Palestine will change is hard to take seriously, but on the other hand, the fact that our GOAT Georgie Santos will get to continue his check-kiting spree of pathological fraud still gives us hope.

As anyone who has been in a tough time in their life, for whatever reason, will tell you, you take it where you can get it.

It has been a week of contrasts. Flying cars are fortunately crashing into each other, and some people seem to be awakening to the reality of the Jenga tower of crypto that is currently bribing the United States government on a massive scale. Los Angeles is still reeling from the decline of TV and movie production, while we lost three absolute boys — Diane Keaton, Jane Goodall, and D’Angelo — whose passings pang the heart. In other news, a pelican in Australia got rescued, which is truly cool.

You’ll see below our editors’ reading recommendations of the week, diligently trawled from across the Internet. As the great leader of the U.S. said recently, “whatever.”

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