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A Bad Week for Cats, a Good Week for the Sport of Cat Throwing

I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% that bitch
Even when I’m crying crazy

— Lizzo, “Truth Hurts”

The always great Lizzo likely understands junk race-science better than the other great Lizzo (Warren). Alas. “The DNA test came back. My dad’s gay.”

And ain’t slavery grand? I mean, it’s just so romantic. At least that seemed to be the message from Ancestry.com, which epically stepped in it this week by portraying a slavery-era interracial hookup as something other than organized rape on an unthinkably massive scale. They say there are no jobs for historians, but some of these dumb-ass companies would do well to hire a few.

It’s been a weird week, in a Great Chain of Weird Weeks. Just as only Nixon can go to China and only Clinton can kill welfare, apparently only Bernie can go to Fox News. And of course he killed it, because he spits hot fire. El Chapo’s parrot got busted. People freaked out about milk ducts. And Trump did something good for once in his godforsaken ocher life by killing off the odious “nerd prom” known as the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Few would think that Donald Trump and H. Rap Brown would agree on much, but — if Washington don’t come around, burn it down, indeed.

Also, someone in Iowa was throwing cats. What does this mean for Kamala’s chances with some-college white janitors under 35 in Dubuque? The only poll that matters is on Election Day, as they say.

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