Alex Sayf Cummings Aneurysms, Best of, Donald Trump, law, media, politics, science

The Client List Exists but the Clients Don’t

We’ve not really commented much about the ever-sprawling-and-sprawlinger Epstein scandal, but we have also been followers of the late pedophile’s odyssey since pretty early on. (Not to brag). Since long before Epstein’s completely made-up self-extinction in a New York jail, we have wondered what it all means — did kid-fucker Jeffrey really have a massive blackmail ring on many of the United States’ most prominent politicians, CEOs, and even academics? Or was it all somehow even stupider than that?

It seems likely that we will never know, since both U.S. political parties appear to be studiously uninterested in releasing any actual information about it. But Pam Bondi and the Republican Party’s inexplicable decision to showboat about releasing “the Epstein files” when Trump first came back into office — and then absolutely retreating and prevaricating about it — raises even more questions. They could just not have ever talked about this issue again, and most people would probably have forgotten about it.

It looks like an own goal of historic proportions. We know this because Trump seems vastly more defensive, angry, irritated, and incoherent about this topic than just about any of his thousands of other public controversies we’ve seen so far. Something about the whole thing just doesn’t seem right. The famously prickly, litigious, and aggressive president for once seems, to use a legal term of art, “shook as fuck.” The Wall Street Journal almost certainly has more dirt that they have not released yet, but at this point we have no idea what it is. But for Donald J. Trump, who should be basking in the apex of his comeback and masturbatory revenge fantasy, rolling around like a lion in the sun, to be this freaked out makes you wonder.

In any case, this is a parody website, and nothing we say should be taken seriously. In the mean time, we have some reading recommendations for the 20% or 21% or so of our followers who are still literate: