I lost someone this week that I loved so dearly. I am bereft. In all the years that we’ve been doing Tropics of Meta, I have never felt this hurt. I try never to share personal things here, but it is impossible for certain things not to spill over the containing walls that surround these striking hearts. It is a phantom limb that you feel. You can dig and root out all the undergrowth of the world we live in, and it will never be enough.

In any life, it is a miracle to meet anyone who understands you and that you too understand. To have them brought low by illness and infirmity is something you think you should see coming and anticipate as the normal order of life. But it does not work that way. It is always like a giant car crash that comes from the dim view of a corner never considered.

I miss my girl. She came into my life when I was so lost and alone, and we laughed our asses off together. It was food for the soul. Then she became sick, and things went faster than I could ever have imagined. Michelle Lucas was a gift to the world, and I wish we had more time together. I wish we had met 15 years earlier so we could have enjoyed that much more time. But things are done. I do not think I’m an especially good person, but I have been gifted the kindness of wonderful people who are too many to enumerate here. Even in my moment of searing heartache, the people in my life have hurried to my side. I love each and every one of you. I yearn that Michelle’s wit and warmth could be shared to everyone.

Please take the ones you love and hold them closer. The end will come like a thief in the night, and you do not know the day or the hour. I appreciate everyone so much who has followed this channel over the years. Even though depression is baked into my core, I won’t be leaving any time soon, as far as I know. I will be as annoying as possible for as long as possible. You can count on that.